You Are Not Disqualified

"Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. "

(Proverbs, 31:30 NKJV)

As women we sometimes get caught up in chasing after things society tells us we should have or be. When you are in high school or college people ask you who you are dating, and if you're not then it's weird that you are single. If you get engaged everyone wants to know the wedding date. Once you're married everyone asks when you are having kids. Once you have one, people ask when the next one is coming. As a woman there is the social timeline we are on, and if you are not hitting the milestones, the world makes you feel like you are doing something wrong. 

The longer Tyler and I have been married the more people are confused on why we don’t have children yet. When people used to ask, the answer would be, “We aren't ready for that yet!” Now after 6 years my answer has become, “I haven't felt called yet.” Being a mother is truly a calling and a blessing from the Lord. Tyler and I have not felt the call to become parents. The Lord has placed other callings on us for this season, and we are trusting Him through it. I used to look down on myself for that and wonder what was wrong with me. Why don’t I want to have kids yet? I’m 28. I have been married for over 6 years. I am in the perfect profession for mothers, teaching. It seems like I have the perfect set up. Through my struggle of insecurity, I began to look into the famous scripture of Proverbs 31. Growing up this was always the chapter to live by as a woman of God. Reading through it, I began to notice how we sometimes see this as a checklist of what to do in order to be loved or accepted. Yes, the virtuous woman that King Lemuel's mother is describing is a wife and has children, but this Proverb is describing the characteristics of a virtuous woman. It describes a virtuous woman as someone who is hardworking, prepared, wise, loving, and most importantly God fearing. This passage is showing us how to be close to God and walk in His ways. The certain status of where your life is does not disqualify you from being virtuous. The most important part of being virtuous is to be God fearing. It is about your heart.

If you are a single woman, take that time alone to grow closer in your relationship with the Lord. The Lord may have a calling on you that requires you to be alone for that season. If you are married, enjoy that marriage. Take the time to build a relationship with your husband. Pray together and read the word together to create a God fearing household. If you are a mother, enjoy your blessings. Raise them up in the ways of the Lord. 

Women wore many hats in the bible. Mary was called to be a loving mother to Jesus Christ. Deborah was called to be a prophetess and showed great leadership guiding her people to victory. Esther was born for such a time to intercede and save the Jewish people. Elizabeth was the mother of John the Baptist and called to conceive at an old age showing God’s faithfulness. The Lord does not see one of their callings more important than the other. They all had a hand in promoting the glory of God and His kingdom. 

"Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God.  And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him." (1 John, 4:15-16 NKJV)

Read that verse again. It didn’t say that only the most beautiful, or talented, or married, or the picture perfect family is loved. God loves you no matter your current status or situation. Confessing Jesus as your Lord and Savior and abiding in Him is the way to being a virtuous woman.  If you are abiding in the Lord and truly believe in Him, the Lord will transform you into His image. Being virtuous is not something you can do on your own. We try hard in our own will to be perceived as so, but to truly be virtuous means you are following the most high God.

You are the salt of the earth, redeemed, chosen, and loved. Don’t look down on yourself for the blessing you have or have not received. View yourself from God’s perspective instead of the world. 

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths. " (Proverbs, 3:5-6 NKJV)

The Lord has you right where he wants you. Trust in His path and His timing on your life. 

References:

King James Version. Bible Gateway, 2025 https://www.biblegateway.com/