God is Stronger

I have been incredibly blessed to be a part of the praise team at my church. Singing and worshiping the Lord through music is truly something that energizes me. I can’t make it through the week without worship. There are times when I get nervous while singing. I will get self-conscious and worry that I will miss a note or mess up the harmony. I believe this is Satan trying to distract me from the worship when that happens. Other times while worshiping it feels as if I am floating. It truly feels as if I am alone in the room with the Lord. These are the moments that make the nervous times worth fighting through. Leaning into the faith that the Lord will work through me, because he is the one leading not me. The singing is done through His strength and not my own. 

There was one particular Sunday where I just felt overwhelmed by His presence in the worship. After the service was over when I got into the car I completely broke down. I remember telling Tyler that I could not believe that the Lord was using me in this way. I felt so unworthy to lead anything much less a congregation into a worship song. As I was crying all I could do was reflect on how the Lord had guided me to that point. The very things that once made me feel inadequate, starting from when I was a child, were the same places He chose to reveal His strength.

I was born with a tongue tie. This caused me to have a harder time eating and learning to speak. I did eventually get it clipped, but I still developed a delay in speech. It was always a joke that my sister was my translator. I would mumble something and even my parents couldn’t always understand what I was saying, but my sister could always figure it out. I remember being pulled out of elementary school to go to speech class. I used to hate getting pulled out of class. I just remember feeling embarrassed. Knowing I had speech issues made me less likely to speak. To make things even harder,  I was not very fond of my teeth. Pretty much I had “buck” teeth. Not only was my speech not very clear, but I would unconsciously cover my mouth with my hand not wanting people to see my teeth when I spoke. As a child I remember being prayed over multiple times that I would be a “worshiper” and that I would “sing praises to the Lord.” Looking at me as a kid who rarely spoke and wasn’t understood, made  it very hard to believe that that would happen. As I got older my insecurities lead me to have crippling anxiety. My dad was the children pastor at our church, so growing up we were involved in every musical/play at the church. I remember crying before performances to the point of getting sick just thinking about going on stage. It even translated into my sports. Before gymnastics meets in high school or even choir performances I would get the same sickness and sometimes chicken out completely. 

Sitting in the car reflecting on all of this I realized that Satan was working overtime to keep out of my calling. Through the tongue tie, speech issues, insecurities, the crippling anxiety, Satan was trying to keep me scared and insecure. Satan wanted me to rely on the faith I had in myself which of course was not enough to lead or be in front of others. Then I realized the Lord's provision. The Lord gave me opportunities where His strength helped me overcome. My faith in Him began to grow. The devil tried to stop it, but the Lord kept coming up stronger. Before every performance where I would be so sick, the Lord would give me the strength needed. Through all of my weaknesses and when the odds were against me the Lord's strength brought me through. It was like I could see the whole path and how the Lord was with me through it all. 

I bring up this story, because in the same way that I sat in the car in unbelief, I could feel that there are so many people that are letting Satan win. They are letting their insecurities or fear win over the life the Lord has for them. What is the devil trying to keep you away from? Is it social anxiety that makes you afraid to share the gospel with others? Is he “filling up” your schedule, so you don’t have time to come to church? Is he surrounding you with negative voices that cause you to think you are not capable of being used by the Lord. I’m here to tell you, friend, that our God is greater than any “plans” Satan makes. If as you are reading this, a certain piece of your life is being revealed to you, I hope these verses can be encouraging.

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11, NKJV)

The Lord is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid? (Psalms 27:1, NKJV)

 No weapon formed against you shall prosper, And every tongue which rises against you in judgment You shall condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, And their righteousness is from Me,” Says the Lord. (Isaiah 54:17, NKJV)

The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me? (Psalm 118:6, NKJV)

Have faith in the Lord. Trust even when it is uncomfortable. You may have to fight through insecurity, tears, or sickness to do what the Lord calls of you. You are not fighting alone. The Lord’s grace and strength will bring you through. Reflect on all the ways he has brought you through in the past. What makes this time any different? There is nothing better than being exactly where the Lord wants you to be. In His presence and giving Him glory, there is truly nothing sweeter. I encourage you to read, fast, and pray. Ask God for guidance on the calling he has placed on your life and pray for strength to overcome the battles that try to keep you from it. 

References:

New King James Version. Bible Gateway, 2025 https://www.biblegateway.com/